If I was ever introduced to the man that invented emoticons I would give them a big sloppy kiss on the mouth. I imagine he resembles something like this.
Sometimes I get annoyed with the prospect of conveying my emotions, feelings and current actions using “words” or “facial expressions” (fuck that). Thank the Lord Jesus for cleverly placed colons, semi-colons, tildes, quotes, carrots, ampersands and brackets that kind of resemble sideways faces that may or may not have noses or eyebrows depending on how lazy I am feeling.
See all those emotions? I often feel them. How would you know I’m feeling them without their respective emotional icons (or “EMOTICONS”)? What? Tell you? Fuck you. Id rather sit at my computer.
I weep for those poor bastards in the 1800’s who had to use morse code.
Oh wait. They had them too. At least according to Wikipedia that is. 73 meant “best regards”, while 88 meant a much more provocative, if not vulgar, “love and kisses”. Imagine all the old-timey boners being popped from a cross country “88″ sent from Mabel to Abner. Maybe flashin’ a little ankle via pony express. Hot.
OHAI!